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The Word 9
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The Word 9 (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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09-EARLY_RETIREMENT.txt
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09-EARLY_RETIREMENT.txt
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1996-01-17
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TITLE: EARLY RETIREMENT
TYPED: ZIPPO/INDEPENDENT
Due to the current situation the managment has decided to implement a
scheme to put all workers over 30 on early retirement. This scheme will
be know as RAPE (Retire Aged Pension Early).
Persons selected to be raped can apply to the managment to be eligible
for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Retirement). Pesons who have
been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme
For Early Retired Workers). A person may only be RAPED once, SHAFTED
twice, and SCREWED as many times as the managment deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED can apply to get AIDS (Additional Income For
Dependents or Spouse),or HERPES (Half Earnings For Retired Personell
Early Severance). Obviousley persons who have AIDS OR HERPES will not
be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the management.
Persons staying on with the company will have to undertake SHIT (Special
High Intensity Traning). Management has always prided itself on the
amount of SHIT it gives its staff.
Should you feel that you require more SHIT, Please bring it to the
attention of your manager. He has been trained to give you as much SHIT
as possible.
END